First and Last
by Astell Epaz
Summary: Sendoh had been confined in the hospital for one year now out of chronic illness, and never did he think that he'd spend the next one with happiness.one-shot SenRu


**A/N: Yay, my test week has ended! And so, to celebrate it, I present you, my first one shot debut! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own it.**

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Sendoh was lying on the white sheet while staring at the white ceiling. His body was paler than a snow and as thin as a branch. He almost looked lifeless if he hadn't been blinking.

Even though he was there, staring at the ceiling, but his mind wasn't. He was playing basketball with his teammates in a friendly match against Kainan. He passed the ball to his mate, Koshino, and signed him to pass back. He faced Maki one on one, faked a shot, and dribbled through him.

He ran to the rim, with Maki on his tail and jumped for a dunk. Takasago escaped Uozumi and jumped as well to block him with Maki. He passed the ball to his left and shot…

Sendoh closed his eyes mournfully. 'And that's the last time I heard everyone's cheers for me.' He would have cried if he could.

He fell that time, couching blood at his last dunk. His sight became blurred and his body couldn't keep himself from falling unconscious. He had thought that it was out of the rotten lemon he accidentally ate. Even thought it wasn't true, it wasn't false either.

He didn't want to remember why he was here anymore, never again. Three months was enough to blame someone continuously, and he wouldn't even think of starting the second round. He had hoped that his sickness would cost his memory for good, or even his life, but it seemed that the God preferred him to endure this torture _longer_.

His teammates, of course, came occasionally for a visit. They chatted with him, trying to make him happy and he fulfilled their wished with his smile. Yes, he still had that trade mark smile of his, although now it looked rather pitiful instead of charming.

One year had passed, a year of full torture, enduring pain and boredom. Heck, he even considered dying of overdose, but his pride prevented him from doing so. A new start was also impossible. The only option left was to make the best of his time, if he could. Talk about torture.

Sendoh would have jumped at the sudden knocks at the door if he could. _'It's probably Koshino. He's early today.'_ He placed his smiling mask back in its place and readied himself to face his friend.

Sendoh glared from the corner of his eyes since he was too weak to turn around. He saw the white door being pushed inside, by-

Sendoh dropped his smile. His eyes widened in surprise. Of all people, he hadn't expecting him to come, even as far as going alone and bringing his lunch.

"Do'aho" The other person greeted first.

Sendoh smiled, this time from his heart, as he saw Rukawa walking towards him and put his lunch on the side table. He stopped there, staring at his rival. Sendoh decided to start a topic.

"It's unusual for you to come here alone."

"You have changed a lot." Rukawa commented, totally ignoring Sendoh's statement.

"Really?"

"You're a fool for being here instead of playing."

Rukawa's statement shook Sendoh. He narrowed his nearly-invisible eyebrows while shutting his eyes. _'Why does everyone like to dig someone else's scar?'_ He pondered to himself.

Rukawa was doing something beside him, he could feel. He didn't want to open his eyes, to face the reality. Once again, he found himself wishing death.

"Oi, eat if you want to be back." Rukawa suddenly said.

Sendoh opened his mouth in protest but his mouth was jammed with the food, a spoon of hot porridge. Sendoh quickly opened his eyes and gasped at the hotness.

Seeing the reaction, Rukawa took another spoon and blew it longer. Realization struck Sendoh later.

"R-rukawa?" He questioned.

"I haven't beat you yet. You can't go now." He replied, pushing Sendoh upper body up to ease him at eating. He pushed the spoon back to his mouth, which Sendoh didn't resist. This time, Sendoh didn't yelp in hotness as well.

"Don't waste your time here. It's better for you to train instead. I'm sure-" Rukawa had shoved the next scoop before he was done talking.

"It's not like you to give up so soon, Do'aho"

"And it's not like you to baby-sit me, Rukawa-kun."

"Just eat." He shoved the spoon rather harshly. End of conversation.

And that day became the beginning of their relationship. Odd like that, but their relationship grew as day passed. Sendoh was getting more cheerful, he didn't need to use his mask anymore. Even his teammates realized that he was being more cheerful.

Rukawa would come occasionally at 12pm, right before the practice. He would be carrying his lunch instead of the nurse, and spooned him. He would call him do'aho, and blamed Sendoh for getting in his way to complete his ultimate goal. And what glad him the most, was that he never asked about his sickness, just blaming him.

Maybe that's why he liked his presence.

When he first entered, everyone gave him a visit, and asked him about his sickness and pitied him. It's a shame that a genius like you have to spend the rest of your time here because of genetic illness, everyone had said, except him.

At that time, he just stood there in the corner, eyeing him with fiery eyes. Sendoh had passed them as anger at his personal business, but now he knew he had been wrong. It's because he still needed him to live, to become his unachieved goal.

Another day, he asked Rukawa why he came after he had suffered for a year. Rukawa had replied,

"Because things came late."

Sendoh didn't understand a word he was saying, but he decided to let it go. After all, late was better than none.

And so, the year which Sendoh expected to become another hell had become the complete opposite. Everyday, Sendoh would spend his time telling his stories and tips for him while he spooned him. He had grown to let go of his past by telling everything to him.

Even though he mostly gave no reply at his story, but deep in his eyes Rukawa expressed his acknowledge at his story. It was more than enough for Sendoh, enough to make a year felt like an hour.

Probably in the sixth month, if Sendoh hadn't mistaken, Rukawa did something shocking. Everything began like usual, he was spooning him when he suddenly stopped and dug his palm to his jeans pocket. He pulled something out inside his fist, but he didn't show it to him.

"Guess this." He ordered.

Sendoh laughed weakly. "A necklace?" Everything was slowly becoming romance novel like.

Rukawa stayed silent, which meant a no.

"A kiss?"

If Sendoh's eyes had been right, he had blushed at the statement but remain silent. He tried again.

"A ring?"

Again, no reaction. Sendoh sighed, "I gave up."

"And I told you months ago that you weren't the type who gave up. Why now?" Rukawa asked.

The guessing game became another round of Sendoh's story about how he had given up long time ago when suicide crossed his mind. He paid attention that while he was talking; Rukawa's mind flew somewhere else. He knew it, but he stayed silent.

By the way, the thing turned out to be a mini basketball keychain. Sendoh wore it in his ring finger, like an oversized ring.

Although the whole year was a thrilling journey for Sendoh, but that didn't mean he was freed from his pain. His illness got worse by the minute, even to the point where he fainted for a whole week.

But again the end had yet to come. He fainted, to be awakened harshly to face the hell. He lived, but his mind had fainted. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't want to live with his illness either.

Wait- did he say he wanted to live? Why?

He didn't know it himself. He had wished death even before his sickness became worse, so why changed his mind now? Shouldn't he crave death even more?

He wanted to free himself, true, but deep in his heart he knew that it would cost him something big. Maybe, that was why the almighty God hadn't taken him. He had to find that out and let it go willingly.

He did have an idea what it was though, but he thought it was impossible.

His birthday gave him the answer. 14th February, the Valentine's Day.

Rukawa came at 8, something that surprised Sendoh. It was Friday, and moreover it was not holiday. Maybe he ran away from his fan girls by absent, he guessed. But he wanted to hear the reason himself.

"You come early. Why, running away-"

"What do you want?" Rukawa suddenly snapped coldly.

"What do you mean?" Answered Sendoh while thinking of what he could have done to make him like that.

Rukawa realized this and relaxed himself onto the wall. "Your birthday?"

"Oh." Sendoh felt like a fool in love for a second. Rukawa repeated his question to wake him up.

"I want to return to normal." Sendoh answered sadly. Rukawa could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. They both knew how impossible that was.

Sendoh broke the sad atmosphere with a smile. "Well, you can bring me a lemon cake here. I'm sure a slice or two won't affect me that badly." He said easily despite the doctor's warnings about eating lemons and his illness.

Rukawa narrowed his eyes in disagreement. "Oh please?" Sendoh pleaded. That, of course, failed to work. But it ignited a new idea inside Rukawa, one that he didn't like, _at all_.

"Oi."

"Hm?"

"You said you wanted death before. Do you still want it?"

"…"

Sendoh couldn't answer that. Rukawa asked again.

"Why did you change your mind before?"

Sendoh didn't answer. Rukawa waited impatiently for his answer, standing there in silence.

"Something…," Sendoh admitted. "This _something_ inside is why." He tried to hide the truth.

"Basketball?"

"I guess." He denied it.

"Me?"

Sendoh failed to hide his shocked expression completely. He had spitted the truth he was denying. All he could do was nod.

"If I was not here, would you choose death?"

There was no use in telling lies anymore. He knew it. "Possibly."

"I'll grant your wish."

Then Rukawa walked up to Sendoh and took a grip of his IV strings. Sendoh stared at him wide eyed, his mind trying to process the unthinkable event unfolding in front of him. Rukawa was ready to pull it off his hands, to be his soul reaper.

"Any last words?" he asked. He was really becoming a soul reaper.

Sendoh nearly accepted his sentence until another ideas struck him. "I'll let you do it in two conditions." He said. Rukawa let his grip on the IV off.

"First," Sendoh pointed his pointer finger without lifting his hands. "When I'm gone, you won't even think of coming with me."

"Do'aho."

"And second," He added up his middle finger. "Let me did something that I want beforehand."

Rukawa agreed those conditions without any doubt. Little did he know that his second wish would cause him to buy cocaine. Fortunately, the seller was dazed with his charm that she didn't bother asking why. Sendoh immediately ate it, and he returned into his normal self, for now.

Next, he had to sneak Sendoh out of the hospital. It's easy to get out, but Rukawa just had to be the bait to camouflage Sendoh's absent just in case. This resulted in Rukawa telling the nurses that Sendoh was going to sleep and not to be disturbed, and just in case, placing a bed and a wardrobe behind the door.

When everything was done, he brought Sendoh to the place he desired, the public basket ball court.

"Let's play one-on-one." Sendoh offered.

Rukawa replied him with are-you-crazy look. "Do'aho"

"The time limit is until sunset at 6, which means 6 hours from now. I'll be the defender first." Sendoh continued, ignoring Rukawa's gaze. He took the ball and positioned himself, but Rukawa still hadn't moved from his place.

"Do'aho." He said again.

"Come on. Let's fulfill your and my last wish."

Sendoh's last statement convinced him. Rukawa accepted the pass and made his move.

The game went rather unexpected. Rukawa didn't hold his attacks, and Sendoh actually played better than usual. Rukawa faked him for uncountable times, and Sendoh copied his moves one by one. He shot a three pointer, and next he was shoved with Sendoh's three points.

Rukawa dunked him, and he was replied with consecutive dunks at the same time. The gap between their scores increased as time passed, with Rukawa losing his strength little by little. It was 37-20 in favor of Sendoh when he requested a break and two after one hour. Sendoh gave him a one-hour break despite this caused the medicine effect to wear off slightly.

Then the game continued, with the score slowly turned to Rukawa. When Rukawa nearly fainted, Sendoh paused the match on 70-65. Absurd, you might say for playing a match usually held in no more than an hour for 6 hours. But most of the match time was used for breaks resulting in less than five hours in total. Nonetheless, it's still absurd.

Rukawa hadn't given up despite his lack of stamina. His eyes were burning with determination and Sendoh like it that way, so he tried to keep up his stamina to satisfy him by taking more tablets, and also for_ precautions_.

Thus they resumed their game, playing so intensely that they completely ignored their surroundings. Time passed quickly, and the alarm which told the end of their game rang when Sendoh suddenly lost his balance and fell.

Rukawa had asked him about ended the game here, but Sendoh insisted on continuing. Rukawa obeyed him and resumed the game. But with Sendoh's condition, he came to the point where he failed to even Rukawa's play. Then again, his determination and pride kept him from giving up until the last minute.

And finally, after an hour extension, Sendoh fell and was unable to stand up anymore. Rukawa rushed to him and lifted his upper body.

"Sendoh!" He called out.

Sendoh smiled while panting harshly. "You won after all, and it's sunset. Now I can go, can't I?"

"Sendoh!"

"You aren't smirking with glory, Rukawa-kun. How odd."

"Do'aho."

Sendoh's breath frequency was ceasing. He whispered to him his last words.

"I love you, Rukawa."

Rukawa gripped Sendoh's limp body, muttering his famous one-liner while holding his tears. He spoke out,

"Do'aho, you didn't even allow me to speak." He couldn't hold his tears anymore. "I love you too, Sendoh." He kissed him.

"I knew you'll say it."

Rukawa jolted in surprise. It was Sendoh talking to him!

"Y-you…?" Rukawa once again struggled to keep his tears from falling. The fire of hope was ignited inside.

"I pretended just then, but I will still go." He admitted. "Sorry, but I knew that you will say it only when I'm gone."

"Do'aho…"Rukawa dropped down in disappointment, but he was still happy nonetheless.

"I never thought that you and I will be in this forbidden love story. Thanks for the kiss though, that was unexpected." Sendoh twitched at the pain at his chest. His breath was getting unsteady for real.

With all his strength he could mutter, he shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out Rukawa's gift, the keychain.

"Happy Valentine's day, Rukawa-kun." He gave him the keychain back. Once Rukawa accepted, he gave him one last smile before his hands went limp.

"Do'aho…" Was all Rukawa could say as Sendoh's life slipped right in front of his eyes. He wanted to believe that he was just pretending again. He shook his body gently, trying to wake him up. But this time, he was gone for good.

The sunset ended and the sky was now dark. Rukawa stood up, wiping his tears away and carried Sendoh's body somewhere.

The next day, Rukawa attended Sendoh's funeral along with everyone else. His aunt was rather hysteric at the fact that Sendoh's death made no sense. The nurse said that she founded his body wet and the IV strings were plugged off his skin. When his body was diagnosed, the doctors found that he had abused cocaine usage and also ate a lemon, which also surprised Rukawa.

In other words, his cause of death was unexplainable.

Rukawa stayed there after everyone had gone home. The sky was dark, mourning for the true genius' like him. Rukawa stared at the grave for a while before giving his goodbye. He put the keychain beside the grave before leaving. He didn't understand, why did a genius like him have to have such terrible fate?

Maybe not.

Sendoh died happily, having spoken his love out loud and was accepted back.

While he lived, knowing that the person he loved had gone forever, leaving him alone in this world.

God may be cruel, but love is definitely crueler.

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**This story is inspired by my granpa in hospital. I went there, a little chit chat, and voila! Actually I wanted to write it with Jin, but after some time I'm stuck with Jin's attitude and switch to Rukawa (I wonder if i make him too OOC?). And as for the sickness and cocaine, er…, I can't find what kind of illness would fit and I find that cocaine is a strong stimulant so I picked it. Did I make the wrong decision? Tell me what you think about the story. And should I make another one shot or a continuous story next?**


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